Dear Canadian Nature....

I know a man whose school could never teach him patriotism, but who acquired that virtue when he felt in his bones the vastness of his land, and the greatness of those who founded it. - Pierre Elliott Trudeau (FromExhaustion and Fulfillment: The Ascetic in a Canoe, 1944; also cited in  Pierre Elliott Trudeau: Why He Paddled by Jamie Benidickson, pp. 54-59, from Kanawa, Fall 2001.)

 Dear Canadian Nature,
You are an essential part of what makes Canada "Canada".  You are also spectacular and breath-taking. Everyone says so.  I think that to be Canadian, we must experience you and your wildness.  To be a Canadian is to have a connection to the land, to nature, to the Great Canadian Wilderness.  You are part of our national imagination!

So, on the eve of Canada Day, I thought I would reach out and say hi.  I would like to get to know you better.  Lots of people I know are camping this weekend or are up at their cottages.  But I am more of an urbanite.  Still, I am the daughter of a farmer and I love the farm.  I adore animals.  So I really do want to get to know you better.  Any recommendations about how I can do this?

Yours truly,
TM

P.S.  Do you prefer Canadian Nature or Canadian Wilderness? 

Dear TM,
Thank you for your kind words.  I am rather glorious, aren't I?  I shouldn't boast, though.  It is not very Canadian at all.  So, I'll just say, "what, these mountains?  Oh, they're nothing, really.  Just the result of plate tectonic activity from millions of years ago.  Who wants to see stuff from the Precambrian era, anyway?"
 
Anyhoo, about your questions, first, I can tell that you must be from Ontario.  Upper and Lower Canadians have "cottages".    Westerners have cabins.   Easterners have shacks that I routinely destroy in my fits of climatic rage.  Ontario is nice.  Have you see my Great Lakes?  Perhaps you could take a hike somewhere so that we can get better acquainted.

Also, you can call me "Great Canadian Wilderness".

Yours in gloriousness,
Great Canadian Wilderness

Dear Great Canadian Wilderness,
You are correct!  I live in Toronto and so, I have seen Lake Ontario.  My family used to vacation on Georgian Bay, so I also have seen Lake Huron.  I've also seen Lake Michigan, but it doesn't count because it is in the U.S..

In terms of this hike-thing, how "hike-y" are we talking here?  Can we stay on a paved pathway?  I would also be okay with a wood walkway and maybe gravel, as long as the grass, weeds, and bushes don't leak too much onto the pathway.  I don't like to touch that stuff.  I have a distinct memory of standing in a patch of weeds as a four year old and being too terrified to move because of the all the pokey plants around me.  My Dad had to come to rescue me.  So if we could avoid close encounters with pokey plants and branches, I would appreciate that.

Yours truly,
TM

Dear TM,
Do you know what's cute?  You guys call the uplands "mountains".  You know, the Blue Mountains? They're not mountains.  I also think it is cute that Toronto is considered to be "central Ontario" even though it is not geographically the centre of Ontario.  Then again, it does not bode well for your ability to read a map and navigate, now does it?  How will you find your way around Canada if you can't even properly locate central Ontario in the centre of Ontario?  But I digress.

Your experience on a farm should have tipped me off that you might have difficulty coping with me.  Farms are contained nature: the land and animals are domesticated; there are fences; you work the land; you have a sense of ownership.  But I cannot be owned.  I cannot be contained.  I am the True North Strong and Free!

I don't think that our relationship is going to work out.  Sorry.

Yours in gloriousness,
The True North Strong And Free

Dear True North,
I know that there will be challenges in our relationship.  Take for example the fact that I am allergic to most of what you have to offer: grass, trees, plants, animals...And then there is my long-abiding fear of pokey weeds and plants.  Also, I don't like to get my hands very dirty.

Part of this is your fault, you know.  Why do you have so many insects?!  Seriously!  The mosquitoes and black flies just descend on me and eat me alive.  Then I swell up.  It's not pleasant.  And don't even get me started on your lack of proper bathroom facilities.  Plus, you play tricks on me while I am using the facilities you do provide.  I'm outside, peeing in the great outdoors and then the wind blows and rustles the bushes.  I thought there was a bear!  I was mid-stream when I turned and looked for the "bear".  Peed all over my shorts, undies, shoes and socks.  Only there wasn't a bear.  Just the wind and some bushes.  Ha ha.  Funny trick.  Now I have a phobia of peeing outside.

Still, I am willing, as a Canadian, to try.  I am willing to make an effort to meet you half-way.  So, True North, what do you say?

Yours truly,
TM

Dear Pee-Pee Pants,
Okay, you have to admit that the "rustle the bushes" thing is funny!  It's not my fault that you jumped to the irrational conclusion that it was a bear.  You were in Halton Hills, for crying out loud! "Camping" in a farmer's field! I should add, for context, you were "camping" in a field to celebrate the end of high school with a friend and a bottle of vodka.  There is a take-away lesson, though.  Never turn mid-stream, even if you think there is a bear.

Look, kid, we might not be cut out for each other.  But if you want to come for a visit, I suppose that would be all right.  I'm not promising to be civil in terms of the weather or the geography.  I can't change my nature.

[See what I did there: can't change my nature.  I'm nature.  My sense of humour is as vast as the Canadian Prairies, only not as flat.]

So come on by sometime.  We'll do a hike or something.  Bring a change of underwear, just in case.

Yours in gloriousness, I remain
The True North Strong And Free

Follow the adventures of Pee Pee Pants, er, TM and The True North on this blog! 

What's Up, Doc?

There is no time like the present to begin to blog again.  I think I will start off with an easy task: providing a snapshot of the past nine to ten months.  So what have I been doing for the past months?  Well...

I learned how to row and I competed in a few regattas.
(***Regatta is a fancy word for "races".  Rowers use a lot of fancy words.)  It was fun, although I question my club's choice of jersey.  Horizontal stripes?  Really?

Our very first regatta!

I took up rowing primarily because I can no longer run due to a foot injury. The learning curve is extremely steep.  But it is a reasonably fun activity, and you do get a good tan.

FYI, when I say "row", I mean rowing, not dragon boating.  Remember the Winkelvoss twins in The Social Network?  They rowed.  That's what I do, except without the creating of social networks and subsequent suing and so forth.

Note the medals around our necks.

I taught.  And taught.  And then I taught some more.

I continue to teach at two different universities.  It is exhausting.  It is wonderful. 

Here is my favourite student quote from this past year:

Student, in an essay on the American de-segregation case Brown v. Board of Education, consistently cited the case as "Brown v. Bored of Education".  

Freudian slip?  I hope that I was not responsible for this error.

I had terrific classes this year.  What terrific students!  What a blessing to teach these intelligent and energetic people!

I got a new (to me) car.
In January, some guy totaled my car.  The car was parked on the street, minding its own business.  This chap drove into My Pretty (my car's name) at a high speed.  Apparently, he perceived my car to be a thoroughfare.  The result was vehicular carnage.

You cannot see the full extent of the damage here because of the snow.  The front end was badly damaged.

But no one was hurt.  And I am supposed to take solace in that.  "It's just a thing," said some stranger who witnessed the demise of My Pretty.

"It's just chattel," I remind myself.

But it was my chattel, my thing, My Pretty.

Farewell, My Pretty.  You served me well.  You deserved better than this.

***Please observe a moment of silence for My Pretty.  Thank you.***

With the demise of My Pretty, I found myself in the market for a new (used) car.  I fancied a pick up truck.  I remember the truck my Dad bought me so long ago: a 1986 Sierra Classic quarter-ton.  What a beautiful truck!  The body of that truck was so beautiful that the dog was not allowed to ride in the truck bed, but was required to ride in the cab with me lest her nails scratch the paint.  Oh, how I have missed driving a big ol' pick up truck!

Me, Rex, and our truck.

But as much as I would have loved to get a pick up, at a certain point, reality caught up with me.  My life has changed.  There are kids in my life now.  I can't drive around in a pick up truck.  I need a back seat.

So I settled for a 2011 Mazda 3 Sport Hatch.  The car only had 12,300KM and was in pristine condition.  I have named this car "Fly Boy".  I hope we have many adventures together.

But sometimes, at night, I miss my beloved '99 Jetta.  My Pretty: gone, but not forgotten.

The kids.

Did I mention that I got some kids?

No, seriously.  I did.

And no, not "kids" as in baby goats.

This is not my kid.

Perhaps the best, but also the most tragic, part of the past 10 months involves the kids.  My sister, Barb, and her husband, James, had two children.  Barb passed away on June 30, 2013.  Sadly, James unexpectedly passed away on April 20, 2014.  He had been in the hospital for a few months at that point.  We thought he was on the road to recovery, but things turned very quickly when he contracted a virus.

James and I putting on our skates for some pond hockey.  

And so there are two kids, J. (aged 18) and R. (aged 15).  And I am helping to raise them.  I am now part of an unconventional, modern family.  The kids are in the care of me and L. and K.; L is the cousin of J and R, and K is her husband.  So we have three adults, two of whom are married to each other.  We have three kids: J. and R., and baby W.  Baby W belongs to L and K.  He is an unusually tall six month year old.  I like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, too.  He calls me "Aunt T".  Well, when he can talk, that is what he will call me.  Or maybe he can call me "Aunt Dr T".  Heh heh.

Baby W, who is very tall and has a taste for giraffes.

Life has brought us together for the time being, and we consider ourselves a family.  Sure, a modern, odd-ball type of family, but a family all the same.  I guess what we really mean is that we are committed to working together to give the kids as stable and as healthy and as loving an environment as possible.

I never really wanted kids, but now I have two teenagers on my hands.  Having the kids, well, it was unforeseen and, to be honest, two years ago, I would have said "No way!"  But something changed, and now having these two kids is the most important thing and the best thing in my life.  Yes, the best thing.  As in, I like it.  I like them, even though there are times when I think "WTF?!"  I'm sure they think the same thing about me sometimes (or a lot).

I wish that the circumstances were different for them, that they would have two parents or even one parent who was alive and there for them.  But they don't, and I am here and L and K are here.  It is tragic that the kids have lost their parents.  We are in mourning and we are in shock.  But do not think for a minute that I am "sacrificing" anything by taking on a central role in the lives of the kids.  Do not think that I am doing anything noble.  The truth is that having the kids in my life is one of the best things to happen to me.  So there is beauty amid the ashes.

I am going to write a lot more about all of the above.  So I hope that you'll stay with me.  Oh, I have had adventures!  Care to know about those adventures?  Want to hear the exciting story about how the police caught the rascal who hit my car?  Would you like to know what my awesome TRN 425 seminar gave me as a parting gift?  Want to read about how I am learning to decode teenager communications?

Are you desperate to know what de poesen have been up to?

Dave dreams of world domination.

I hope so.  Please stay tuned...

And life goes on...

It is time for me to breathe new life into this blog.  I haven't updated it for a long time.  I have had a very busy and eventful 10 months or so.  I'll tell you all about it shortly.


For now, to anyone who is still reading this blog and to those who may stumble upon it, be advised: Dr T is back.


Govern yourselves accordingly.