Stupid News Reports

This is an actual line from a news story regarding the Miami Zombie-like attack:

"The naked cannibal was not the Rudy Eugene his classmates knew."  

See:  http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/miami-zombie-like-face-chewing-suspect-rudy-eugene-was-a-beautiful-person-former-classmate-says#ixzz1wUqP8QhM

Really?  You mean you didn't go to school with someone whom you felt would one day shock the world by chewing off another person's face while naked?  I thought everybody knew at least one person like this guy while in high school.  In fact, aren't there lists in yearbooks dedicated to this sort of thing?

• Most likely to be rich:  Richy McSilver-Spoon
• Most likely to be super-rich: Nerdy Computer Kid
• Most likely to marry rich: Blondie Longlegs
• Most likely to be indicted for white collar crimes: Smugly McPrivilege
• Most likely to make us all proud: Poor kid from bad neighbourhood who can run really fast
• Most likely to win a Nobel Prize: Quiet kid whom we all bullied but will later claim we all knew and loved
• Most likely to eat another person's face off while naked: John "Cuddles" Doe

Sure, we can all name the person in our class and in our family who we suspect is a sociopath.  (Think about it...and there it is.  You know that you have a name or two in mind.)  But there are sociopaths and sociopathic, crazy zombies.

I think the better headline and news story here would be: "Guy who went to school with the Miami Zombie 'totally saw this day coming'".

Call me when that story hits the wire.