In Memorium: My Sister, Barb Clark

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
 
I've been thinking about John Donne's words a lot lately.  They echo in my heart late at night and early in the morning.  Death, be not proud... They are there when I lie awake, thinking about everything that has happened, the great loss our family has experienced, the pain of it all.

On Sunday, June 30, 2013, my sister, Barb, passed away.  She had cancer.  She long outlived her doctors' prognoses for her, but at great expense, for she suffered a great deal.  She fought long and hard.  She wanted to live for her family, for her husband and children.  But she had primary peritoneal cancer (PPC) and was diagnosed at stage IV; this diagnosis is a death sentence.

 Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

Barb determined that she would simply have to beat the odds.  And she did.  The average life span of a person with stage IV PPC is about 12 months.  Barb lived four years and three months.  In March 2012, Barb's doctor told her that there were no more treatment options for her and that she might live another six months.  Barb lived another 15 months.  Barb did not go gently into that good night.  She raged against the dying of the light. 

But do not think for a moment that Barb fought so hard because she was scared.  No!  Emphatically, no!  Soon after her initial diagnosis, the words of Question and Answer 1 of the Heidelberg Catechism (which we had all memorized at some point during Catechism classes) became very important and dear to Barb:

 Q.1 What is your only comfort in life and in death?
  A. That I am not my own,
       but belong --
       body and soul,
       in life and in death --
       to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ...

 Barb held onto to this most basic tenet of our faith: whether we live or die, we belong to Jesus, and so things will be all right.  Of course, "all right" does not mean "not painful" or "not hard".  Barb suffered a great deal and her death was not at all an easy one.  It was terrible and painful.  But Barb was never afraid.  She suffered physically and, emotionally, as she mourned that she would not see her children grow up, but she experienced no dread, no fear. 

I am proud of how my sister lived and how she died.  She ran her race with great strength, perseverance, and raw courage.  She chose to fight so that she could be there for her husband and her children.  Cancer took her life, but it did not win its battle with Barb.  It never stripped her of her dignity, her character, her faith, her love for friends and family.  In the end, cancer got the consolation prize: it ended Barb's days on earth but it could not take her Life.

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die. 

Yes, death's days are numbered.  Barb's fearlessness in death affirmed our faith and our hope in Jesus Christ as the Resurrection and the Life.  Barb is now Home.  She has joined that great cloud of witnesses that cheer us on in our own races.  And one day...one day, our family will be together again, laughing and celebrating at the Lamb's great feast.

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more...

'Til then, my dear sister, 'til then.