30 Reasons Why I Love, Adore, and Respect my Mom

My mother is bad-ass.

She would not like that I used "ass" on my blog.  But she really is bad-ass.

It's almost Mother's Day, so I am going to share 30 reasons why I love, adore, and respect my mom.  There are more than 30 reasons, so these are really the top 30 reasons.  And she deserves to be honoured every day, not just on Mother's Day.  With these caveats in mind, let me introduce you to my mom.

Me and my Mom.

My Mom's name is Agnes.  Well, it is actually Aagje.  But when her family immigrated to Canada and she started school, her teacher could not say her name.  No one outside of the Dutch community could.  So my Mom chose a new name, Agnes.  She told me that a girl that she knew back in the Netherlands had that name, and she liked it.  So she launched a preemptive strike and arbitrarily re-named herself, which was better than the alternative of having the school teacher do it for her, as was the case with her sister, my Aunt Theresa (for whom I am named).  Aunt Theresa's name was Trinje.  I'm sort of grateful that the teacher re-named her Theresa or I would have been saddled with the name Trinje.

Here are 30 awesome things about my Mom.

1.  She lives her faith.  She walks the talk.  And she made sure that we knew her faith -- our faith -- too.  Her relationship with Christ shines through in all she does, and it is her most precious gift to me.

2. She is a smart critical thinker.  She reads.  She listens.  She thinks.  And then she tells you her opinion.

Mom doing her homework for Coffee Break at church.

3.  She is funny, sometimes even intentionally so.  She has a great sense of humour.  I love that about her.

4.  She is wise.  When I am willing to listen, she actually has excellent advice.

5.  She always made the best cakes for birthdays.  No store bought stuff in our home when I was growing up.  (We were poor Dutch immigrants; we didn't buy cake.)  One year, she drew a Smurf on my cake in blue and white icing.  It was awesome.

My first birthday cake.

 6.  She is pretty.  She has beautiful hazel eyes.

Mom, shortly before marrying my Dad.  Oma told her to buy a new dress before the wedding since she might not be able to afford a new one for a long time once becoming the wife of a poor farmer.  This is the dress she bought.

Mom, Dad (Hank), and my nephew Danny.  After many years, Mom's still got it.

7.  She has an enormous talent for languages.  She can read and write in three languages (English, Dutch, and Frisian).  I think she could have learned more if she had had the opportunity.

8.  She is cuddly.

Mom with my niece Alyssa.

9.  She has a michevious streak.  When I discovered the photo below and showed it to her, she immediately said, "Oh, I was smoking just for the fun of it.  It was just a joke."  Ironically, she had written these exact words on the back of the photograph: "Just for the fun of it."  She would do that, you know.  Pose with a cigarette, just for a joke.  (She definitely was not and is not a smoker.)

Mom, smoking "just for the fun of it"

Like mother, Like daughter.  Except I'm smoking a cigar.

10.  She and my Dad held hands when they sat together.  In a stoic community where affection was not always shown, this is special.

Mom and Dad.

 11.  She (and Dad) named me after her sister, Theresa.  So I was named after one of the most beautiful, lovely and graceful ladies in history.

Mom (L) and Aunt Theresa (R), the early years

Mom (L) and Aunt Theresa (R), the latter years.  Don't they look awesome in those saucy hats?

12.  Mom makes the best pancakes, soup, chocolate chip cookies, pork chops and grilled potatoes I have had.  But she cannot cook vegetables without boiling them to death.

13.  Mom was horrified when she learned that I planned to keep my family name when I get married rather than taking my husband's name.  She said, "What are you, some kind of feminist?"  This was not a compliment.  The funny thing is that Mom is a feminist, albeit a Christian Reformed feminist.  She is a strong, thinking woman.  So if I am a feminist, I blame her.

Feminist or not, Mom took off her shoes in this wedding picture because she did not want to appear taller than my Dad in their wedding photo.  She once commented, "But it wrinkled my dress.  Phooey."  I'm not sure if this observation makes her more or less of a feminist.

 14.  Mom is a very creative person and a gifted photographer.  She could have easily been a professional writer or photographer.  I'm pretty sure that I inherited my creative side from her.

A beautiful photo that Mom snapped of my cat, Wiley.  To be fair, Wiley did accommodate her by posing.

Mom calls this photo, "Energy on the Prairies"

Mom sees things that others do not.  She took this photo, which she calls "Shadows".

15.  Mom has had a lot of grief and heart ache in her life, but she has carried it all with strength, grace, and dignity.  She would say, "Well, that just comes from God.  God gave me the strength."  This gives you a good idea about how my Mom has dealt with the adversity in her life.  And she is not bitter about anything that she has endured.

Mom has consistently chosen joy in the circumstances of her life.

16.  After my Dad died, my Mom continued to invite my Pake (Dad's dad) to our home for holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter.  She maintained a close relationship with Pake even after she remarried.  Because of her, I had a lot of regular contact with him -- an important connection to my Dad.

Pake, sitting on our porch.

17.  Mom has a good sense of adventure.  Whether it is walking in our national parks or riding a camel in Israel, Mom is up for the challenge.

Mom and my nephew Danny in Waterton National Park.

Mom and the infamous camel ride.  In a dress!  Go Mom!

 18.  Mom brought home the biggest souvenir EVER from Israel: my second Dad, Hank.  They met in 1989, three years after my Dad (Art) passed away.  They married in 1990.  And you know what?  They really did live happily ever after.

Mom and Dad (Hank), April 21, 1990.

Mom and Dad celebrating one of many anniversaries.

19.  Mom had the courage to start a new life with Hank.  She had the courage to move from Ontario to Alberta, to go from city back to the country, and to join a new community far from everyone she knew and loved.  I love that she had the faith, strength, and courage to take this risk.  I love that she found love again with such a wonderful and honourable man.  I love that she embraced her new life and put down new roots.  I love that she became part of the local community.

It turns out that farm life suits my Mom.

 20. Mom keeps a big garden where she grows potatoes, carrots, strawberries, rhubarb, beans, and other stuff.  She works in the garden even though some of the plants give her rashes and even though she is engaged in an ongoing battle with the birds for the berries.  If I am visiting in the summer when there are berries to be had, she lets me have the biggest, sweetest ones even though I have steadfastly refused over the years to provide any assistance in the garden.  (I don't like to touch the dirt or the plants.  They are icky.  She humours me in this regard.)

21.  She wears goofy hats that she has had for decades.  Seriously.  Decades.

The hat Mom is wearing in this photo is circa 1980.  Please, woman, buy a new hat.

 22.  Mom has the gift of hospitality.  People have always been welcome in our home.  Plus, she goes out and visits people.  A lot of people.  She brings them little treats.  She writes letters to people and sends cards.  She is thoughtful.

23.  Mom is sensitive to people and she is generous.  When Mom and Dad took us to Holland in 1980, we met with another family there who had a son, Robby, who was a bit younger than me.  We spent a day or two together.  At one point, we went into a candy shop.  Mom bought all of us kids, including Robby, a bag of candy -- our own bag, which we did not have to share.  I remember thinking that my Mom was the most kind and generous mom ever.  I still think that.

One year, I had trouble planning my birthday party because I did not want to leave anyone out.  Mom accommodated the situation by letting me have two parties so that I could invite everyone.  Another year, she let me invite my entire class to my party.  I think she understood that I did not like to leave people out.  I think she understood that because she herself did not like leaving people out. 

24.  One time, Mom ironed my PJs because she knows that I love the feeling of freshly ironed clothing.

25.  Mom exemplifies the best in what a citizen should be.  She is informed about political issues, she votes, and she writes letters.  Lots of them.  To politicians, to radio show hosts, to companies, and so on.  She lives in the public square.  And once she scored us a case of cookies after she wrote to a company to complain that she had bought a package of their cookies only to discover that they were all broken.

26.  Mom made good on my Dad's promise to let me go to Holland when I was 16.  Keep in mind that I did not go with her.  I went with my cousin, Brenda, and our Aunt Cathy, my Dad's unmarried younger sister.  If you know our Aunt Cathy, you can understand why Mom might have been a bit leery about the whole idea.  But she still let me go...and has tolerated my gallivanting around on trips around the world ever since then.  Well, we all know where I got my sense of adventure...

Brenda and I exploring our roots in Holland.

Seriously, she and my Aunt Greta let this motley band of travelers go to Holland alone for four weeks.

Years later...I still have the travel bug.

 27.  When I became a runner, Mom and Dad got interested in the sport.  They followed my progress and tracked me on race days.  It doesn't matter how old you are, you still want your Mom and Dad to cheer for you.

I'm grinning because I am on my way to breaking 2hours in the Half-Marathon.

28.  My mom ordered lots of copies of my kindergarten photo (and passed them around to family members) even though my kindergarten photo looked like this:


29.  Mom has grand-cats.  Specifically, Wiley (now sadly departed), Winston, and Dave in my family. My Christmas parcels always include presents for the cats.  She brings them toys when she comes to visit.  Her letters include a "PS. Give the poesen a scratch behind the ears for us".  And once, she left a message on my voicemail that ended as follows:

Well, Dad and I are just thinking about you and the cats, of course.  We wanted to say hi to you all and we love you and the cats.  Well.  We love you...but the cats.  We like the cats...but you know...

 It cracked me up.  It's okay to say that you love your grandcats, Mom.  They certainly love you.

And for the record, my parents have photos of the grandcats in their office and on their refrigerator.  Plus, they never bug me about giving them grandchildren (or about getting married, for that matter).  My parents understand that the cats are a part of our family, and they treat the cats that way.

Wiley (L) and Winston (R)

Dave.  This photo is on my parents' fridge.

30.  Occasionally, my Mom indulges my theory that one of my siblings was switched out at birth and is not really related to us at all. 

Is this Maggie or merely a baby posing as Maggie?

31.  Bonus...Mom has supported my studies over the long-term, even when undergrad led to law school which led to graduate school.  Even when I'm sure she wondered if I would ever finish school and if I was crazy for leaving my good Bay Street firm.  She stood behind me.  She was 100% in my corner.  You know why?  Because she gets who I am and she understood that I had to keep going back to school.

Undergraduate convocation.

Call to the bar.

Celebration at my firm for my call to the bar.

SJD (doctoral degree) convocation

The bottom line is that she gets me.  So when I visit, she has my favourite things in the house.  She picks out just the right card for my birthday.  And sometimes she sends me some cookies "voor de aardheid".  Sure, sometimes she calls me by the names of every other sibling until she finally gets to my name.  But that is okay. Because she knows who I am.

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!